Modern life is complicated. Every day involves a careful balancing act between duty and pleasure, responsibilities to our family, friends,timberland boots uk, employer, and community must be balanced between our need and right to spend some time enjoying life. Many of us are fortunate that at least a portion of our responsibilities also coincide with pleasure, but no matter how much we love our family or our job part of being a grown up is accepting that along with the joys of family and profession comes some drudgery. I love my family but no one can make me like scrubbing the bathroom or enjoy grocery shopping. I love my job but along with teaching the subject I love comes a mountain of grading that is sometimes frightening to contemplate,black uggs. Even when life is progressing smoothly there are unpleasant tasks and choices to make. But what happens when life gets complicated and unpleasant decisions need to be made?

Like many people in the past I was often paralyzed by difficult decisions. When it seemed that there was no good choice I would often duck responsibility altogether until a decision was forced upon me. Then of course I would usually be unhappy with the results. Most people are more decisive than I was but are frustrated by their decision-making.

Some make all their decisions based on what they need or want right now. While this strategy can make life simpler, and sometimes happier, in the short term over time it often leads to problems with money, relationships, and their career.

Some make all their decisions based on their needs and wants for the coming year. While this strategy can also make life easier in the now it could still result in future problems,Link.

Some make all their decisions based on their future needs and wants. This can often lead to an unhappy present as most pleasures are deferred to the future achievement of long term goals, but avoids the long-term problems the other choices created.

I have learned the hard way that good decision-making means achieving a balance of these three methods. When facing a tough choice look at the results in the now, in a year, and in a decade. Visualizing how the effects of a decision will impact your life should empower you to make better decisions and to make living with those decisions easier.

For example, my son just started kindergarten which meant my husband and I faced the choice of continuing with the Montessori program where he had attended preschool, enrolling in another private program, or moving into public school.

Staying with Montessori meant the short-term benefit of allowing my son to stay in a comfortable, familiar environment and supporting a worthy program balanced by the short-term disadvantages of continuing tuition payments and a lengthy commute. Looking ahead, we knew we did not plan to continue with Montessori past kindergarten so in essence we were only postponing the inevitable.

Enrolling in one of the local private kindergarten programs offered the benefits of good programs, smaller classes, and desirable peers balanced by tuition payments and scheduling issues in the short term. Looking ahead, we knew that eventually our child would have to go to public school so why not make the transition now?

Moving into public school offered some short-term advantages including the issue of timing. Our son was ready to go and it seemed natural to move into public school at the same time as most of his peers. Other short-term advantages included convenience and the quality of the program and the financial benefits of not paying tuition. Short-term disadvantages included our son's emotional attachment to his previous school and a general upheaval in the elementary program due to population growth. Looking ahead, we were confident our son could and would make the adjustment to a new school, he would have to make the transition to public school at some point anyway, and that the program's strengths outweighed its weaknesses.

By now you have probably guessed what decision we made. Once we broke down our decision and looked at the advantages and disadvantages in the now, in a year, and in a decade it was easy to see what was really important to consider. Only a week into school and our son has fully adjusted to his new school and has already made friends. Next year will mean some more changes but by then he will be comfortable and happy with his school. And in a decade he will be in high school,click here. However, the care and thought we put into choosing a preschool program and school district will play a major part in his success at that level.

If you have trouble making decisions, or living with the consequences of the decisions you make, then using this simple strategy will make your life easier and better. Compare the expected outcome of each choice in your life now, in one year, and in one decade.




Many people have the ability to truly care and receive joy when caring from the heart. Yet even very caring people sometimes find themselves using caring as a form of control.

Take a moment right now to think about a situation today in which you were caring - at home, at work, with a friend, or with someone you don't know such as a salesperson or a waiter. Are you willing to be completely honest with yourself regarding why you were caring? If you are, then go inside and notice if your caring had any outcome attached to it. Is there something you wanted from the other person? Is there some reason you were caring other than caring for the joy of it?

Ask yourself these questions:

?Was there some part of me that was trying to control what the other person thought of me? Was I behaving in a caring way to get attention, approval, validation, love, time, or sex?

?Was there a part of me hoping that my caring would result in monetary gain? Was I acting caring in the hopes of getting the other person to trust me enough to participate in some way that would bring me more money?

None of us like to think of ourselves as manipulative, yet we all have a part of us that wants control over getting what we want, and we may have learned to use our caring as one form of control.

While caring as a form of control may seem to work at times, it will never bring you joy. You might receive approval or sex or money, but something will always seem to be missing from your life,cheap timberland boots uk. Getting what you believe you want may feel good for the moment, but it will never bring you the deep joy that results when caring from the heart with no agenda or attachment to outcomes.

When we are caring from the heart, we become, as Mother Teresa said, "God's pencil." We are giving to others just for the sake of expressing what is most beautiful about life - caring about each other. Giving to others from an open heart fills the soul with joy.

You can express this pure caring only when you are also caring about yourself. If you are not giving yourself the attention, validation, and love that we all need, then you will covertly be trying to get this from others. Others will pick up the "giving to get" energy and may not feel your "caring." In fact, others may even become resistant to receiving your caring because it feels controlling to them - and it is.

We can be caring purely for the joy of it only when we are taking 100% responsibility for ourselves - for thinking and behaving in ways that lead to inner safety and a deep sense of self worth. When we are not doing this for ourselves, then we need this from others, and we will be unable to be caring without strings attached.

It is in primary relationships with mates, children, and parents, that our giving to get has the most negative consequences. No one likes to be controlled by others, so when you give with an agenda, you may encounter anger and/or withdrawal. Your loved ones might not even know why they are angry or withdrawn. They just know that something feels bad inside them when you are "caring" about them.

While the outward behavior may look exactly the same when you are caring with an agenda or caring for the joy of it, energetically these two intentions feel totally different to others. If others are not responsive to your caring, you might want to honestly look at your intent in being caring.