People complain. They’re complaining all the time about everything. As a child, I was innocent enough to believe what people were saying. I really thought there were plenty of valid reasons to complain: the weather (most often), lack of money (runner-up), the neighbors, husband or wife, the children (me, in this case), civilization (or the lack of it), bad health, etc. I assumed the world just turned out to be like this and there was nothing much we could do,fake uggs. It was called “fate” or something.

The thing to do was to pray. Not to ask for a better life. No! I learned to pray to ask God to forgive me for my sins. I was a nice little girl, doing very well at school, polite with the neighbors, helpful at home, so it was rather difficult to keep finding sins for our weekly confession. But because human beings are profoundly sinful by birth, they told me, I had to go confess anyway,Link. The nuns at school came up with a solution to help us out: they “prepared” our sins for us. Every Wednesday, on confession day, they gave us a pink paper with our “confessions of the day.” I remember feeling sorry for the poor priest, hidden in his little black cabin, spending the entire day listening to the confessions of 600 little girls, endlessly repeating the same sins over and over…

Growing up, I figured something was missing. Pretending to be sinful by repeating sins someone else had cooked up for me, that could not be what life is about. I refused to further confess sins that I had not committed. I refused to believe that I was the cause of my misery, and that I had to pray every day without things getting better!

When I was 26,timberland boots uk, I went to Africa. There I met my husband (he’s from Belgium) and together we had a wonderful time, with plenty of sunshine and plenty of money; circumstances people usually don’t complain about, right? According to my childhood logic, people only complain for a reason: lousy weather (too cold, too much rain), lack of money, etc. But what I discovered over there seriously opened my eyes,cheap timberland boots uk! My “white” friends just went on complaining: about the weather (too hot), about the service (5 servants and still they were complaining) or about how things were too expensive ? while they were earning 5 times as much as before!

I discovered there and then that the complaining was not based on any objective reasons. I also noticed that the black people, who were living in their villages with close to nothing, were not complaining. I got interested in this phenomenon: they had nothing except a big smile on their face, while we had everything and were still complaining! How could this be?

It became crystal clear to me that the complaints had nothing to do with the outer circumstances. It was an attitude, a habit. Next, I wanted to find out where this habit came from. So I examined the way of life of the local people and compared it with our way of life. When I finally came up with the explanation, it changed my life forever!

There are two important differences between them and us. The first difference is that they have a social network to help everyone in the village. They stick together. They don’t push out people who don’t fit the norm. In our society, everybody who is a bit different is sent to an “institution.” An institution is a place to collect those individuals who cannot follow the fast pace of society and thus fall out of the boat. Most institutions have great walls to prevent us from “seeing” that these people really exist. They look more like a prison than a shelter.
Who are these people that don’t fit in our society, put away behind walls so we don’t have to confront them? They are the disabled, the diseased, the dangerous ones, the mentally retarded or disturbed, those who are too slow (they go to special schools), too difficult to handle (they go to educational institutions) and those who are too tired and too old (we put them in expensive homes).

There in Africa, everybody stays in his own village and is accepted and taken care of (except the really dangerous ones, they go to prison). Everybody has a natural social network and access to help. You are not isolated from society merely because you cannot walk or because you are mentally slow. They stick together. I figured out that inner loneliness and isolation is one of the main reasons why we are complaining so much.

The second difference is that all of these people are connected to something “greater” than themselves. They have a strong faith in a god who takes care of them. They spend a lot of time performing rituals to please their god(s) and get good health and harvest in return.

I gave these two differences a lot of thought and concluded that creating social networks of people and a solid relationship with something bigger than ourselves, are vitally important fundaments of human happiness.

It’s all about “connection.” Connection to each other. Connection to the Universe. In the meantime I found out that good things can happen only when we stay connected to each other and to the Universe. I started studying the Laws of the Universe and spent a lot of energy helping people establish a connection to each other and to the Universe. In fact, this became the very purpose of my life,click here.

Many people think they are alone, without help, and have to do everything by themselves. This is not the case. You are guided, you are loved by Something Greater than your little personality. Try to feel this connection. Take time everyday to connect to the Source. Do like the African people I was lucky to meet so many years ago: create a real connection between yourself, the Universe and people around you, without being overly dependent on others. You will never feel alone again and you will be able to spread a lot more love around.

Living this kind of “connected life” will make you forget about your former complaints. What’s there to complain about? Your complaints will be replaced by gratitude! Say “thank you” to the Universe for all the things you already have, and for all the wonders that may still cross your path. Express your sincere gratitude for all the love you have received and will keep receiving throughout your life. Be grateful for the clean water coming out of the tap by a simple gesture of your hand, while many people spend six hours every day to get a little bit of water, and others die of thirst. Be grateful for the light you switch on with a simple flick. Large parts of the world have to do without electric power! Say “thank you” for the variety of food that is available to you every day ? a lot of people have to get by on one scarce meal a day, or are simply starving.

There is so much to be grateful for. I felt so ashamed there in Africa, at 26 years old, hearing my white friends, bathing in luxury but still complaining, while my black friends, who had close to nothing, were laughing, friendly, grateful and most of the time quite happy with the little things in life.

It’s all in the mind. Gratitude and happiness are an attitude, a state of being. It has nothing to do with circumstances. The attitude is gratitude.




In simple terms, the greatest fear that all of us have is the fear of the unknown. More often than not, our imagination supplies thoughts, images, and feelings that simply are not true. Our childish nightmares have only grown more sophisticated as we've grown older.

As children we would look at the shadow in our closet and imagine the monster drooling and leering at us from the darkness. As adults we still fear the unknown. It's just a bit more complex than our childish fancies. Now, our fears are preyed upon by what we imagine. We fear rejection, people's unspoken opinions, potential difficulties, possible loss, and so much more. We've allowed our negative imagination to control our actions.

So many people can't make new friends because they think people will possibly dislike them. Others can't get a job because they imagine all the potential difficulties that might exist. Death itself is scary to most people because it is filled with unknowns. Some people can't ever make a decision because of all the maybes and possibilities that might exist. We walk into a new environment feeling stressed and tense because we aren't familiar with the people or surroundings.

I pastor a Church and I can't help but harbor this same fear. Someone calls me on the phone and says, "Pastor, I've got to talk to you." They won't tell me over the phone what the matter is, but indicate they will when we meet privately. I fear the worst. My mind imagines what they may say, that somehow I hurt them, that they're leaving, and so on.

This is our fear. This is what everyone fears: the fear of the unknown.

WHAT CAN BE DONE ABOUT THIS FEAR?

First, don't let the fear of the unknown stop you from finding out everything that you can find out. Too often, we fear what might be and so we become paralyzed and unable to even face any reality. Many of you who read this face the same situation with your finances. You are in debt. You owe large amounts of money, and that very fact prevents you from dealing with bill collectors or the creditors. In fact, you fear the mailbox for what it might contain. You won't call the creditors and find out your exact situation. When someone gets to this point, I always tell them to call everyone and find out exactly what they owe. Face your fears. Find out the truth.

The reality is never as bad as your fear. Even when the reality is bad, very bad, it is still easier to deal with the reality than to carry the emotional burden of many different potential results.

Let me illustrate. You did something wrong and got caught. Now you are standing in a court room before the judge about to hear your sentence. The sentence itself can range anywhere from a dollar amount to ten years in jail. Until you know, the fear of the unknown means that you carry the emotional weight of all the potential sentences. Your mind races to figure out how you'll pay restitution, and then how you may handle a one year sentence, or a five year, or a ten year sentence. You carry all the weight of all those possibilities.

But, once you are sentenced, you know exactly what you face. It is actually a relief even if the sentence is the maximum possible. It is no longer the unknown. You know what you need to plan for. You know what you need to look forward to. Just knowing is a powerful relief.

Or imagine that you are sitting in a waiting room awaiting word from the doctor on the condition of a loved one. While waiting, you carry the emotional burden of all the various possibilities. Even if the doctor says that there is nothing he can do, and to prepare for the worst, you'll find that easier to face than the unknown. Knowing what you are facing is always easier than carrying all that your mind can conjure.

It is also important to surround yourself with many different people that love you. Facing the unknown is always more difficult alone than with someone. In my preaching, I always find it easier to preach to people that I know, that I love, and that I know love me. Preaching to a bunch of people that I have never met before is a completely different story.

Remember when you were a child? You did things on a dare that you'd never do alone. You said, "I'll do it if you do it." Facing something with someone else is always easier than facing it alone.

We fear so much. If we examine that fear closely, we will discover that much of what we fear is born out of our own imagination. It is the fear of the unknown.

CONCLUSION

I mentioned two things that you can do to help you deal with this.

1. Get more information. The more you know, the less you'll fear.

2. Surround yourself with people that love you. It is always easier to face the unknown when you are with someone.

Don't let the fear of the unknown paralyze you and take away your ability to enjoy life.