In all our lives, irrespective of financial status, education etc , the winds of circumstances blows over each of us in a way that touches each and every one of our lives.

We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, frustration, despair and heartbreak. Why then do each of us in a our own individual “ship of life”, all beginning at the same point, arrive at such different places (and sometimes in very windswept condition!) at the end of our journey?

What guides each of us to different destinations is the way we have chosen to set our sail.

We all suffer the same setbacks/obstacles. We all have disappointments, challenges and traumas in our life. We all have reversals of fortune and moments when despite how hard we try, or what we do, everything seems to constantly fall apart. Lets not forget that these life events are not reserved for only the poor or uneducated. We ALL have the same challenges that can lead to financial and personal despair.

However, it seems that in the final analysis it is not the event itself that determines the quality of our life, but what we choose to do when we have struggles for ages to set our sail, only to then discover the direction of the wind has changed.

Is is this that separates the men from the boys, the sailors from those just going for a Sunday afternoon paddle!

When the winds change, you must change. We must struggle back to our feet once more and re-set the sail to the destination we want. The set of the sail i.e how we think, how we react to situations and our attitude (the most important) has a far greater capacity to destroy our lives than the actual challenge itself. How quickly we respond and bounce back from the negative circumstances becomes far more important than the circumstances itself.

Learning to re-set our sail with the changing winds howling around us, rather than allowing ourself to be blown in any direction we have no control over, involves discipline and a whole new mind-set.

It involves establishing your own personal strategies that will influence you in a positive and inspiring way and which will impinge on all that we think and do.

If we can succeed in putting these strategies to work, it will greatly affect every facet of our lives; our relationships, income, lifestyle etc etc and how we perceive the challenges in life. We will also learn the greatest challenge of all-to control the process of our thinking. This is what will have the greatest effect on our survival whilst being buffeted around in a gale-force 9 storm, and whether we survive the storm or whether we give up and allow the storm to break us.

So c’mon,timberland boots cheap, get those deck-shoes on and start sailing in the direction you wish to sail and not in the direction you are thrown towards.

Copyright? Vanessa Vinos/Vision Life Coaching 2007




Emotional intimacy is one of the most wonderful experiences we ever have. Nothing else really comes close to the experience of sharing our deepest thoughts and feelings with another, of being deeply seen and known, of sharing love, passion, laughter, joy, and/or creativity,www.replicauggsuk.com. The experience of intimacy fills our souls and takes away our loneliness.

Why, then, would someone be afraid of intimacy?

It is not actually the intimacy itself that people fear. If people could be guaranteed that intimacy would continue to be a positive experience, they would have no fear of it. What they fear is the possibility of getting hurt as a result of being intimate with another.

Many people have two major fears that may cause them to avoid intimacy: the fear of rejection – of losing the other person, and the fear of engulfment - of being invaded, of being controlled and losing oneself.

Because we have all learned to react to conflict with various controlling behaviors – from anger and blame to compliance, withdrawal, and resistance - every relationship presents us with these issues of rejection and engulfment. If one person gets angry, the other may feel rejected or controlled and get angry back, give themselves up, withdraw or resist. If one person shuts down,black uggs, the other may feel rejected and become judgmental, which may trigger the other’s fears of engulfment, and so on. These protective circles exist in one form or another in every relationship. When the fears of rejection and engulfment become too great, a person may decide that it is just painful to be in a relationship and they avoid intimacy altogether.

Yet avoiding relationships leads to loneliness and lack of emotional and spiritual growth. Relationships offer us the most powerful arena for personal growth, if we accept this challenge. So what moves us beyond the fear of intimacy?

The fear exists, not because of the experience itself, but because a person doesn’t know how to handle the situations of being rejected or controlled. The secret of moving beyond the fear of intimacy lies in developing a powerful loving adult part of us that learns how to not take rejection personally,fake uggs, and learns to set appropriate limits against engulfment.

When we learn how to take personal responsibility for defining our own worth instead of making others’ love and approval responsible for our feelings of worth, we will no longer take rejection personally. This does not mean that we will like rejection – it means we will no longer be afraid of it and have a need to avoid it.

When we learn how to speak up for ourselves and not allow others to invade, smother, dominate and control us, we will no longer fear losing ourselves in a relationship. Many people, terrified of losing the other person, will give themselves up in the hope of controlling how the other person feels about them. They believe that if they comply with another’s demands, the other will love them. Yet losing oneself is terrifying, so many people stay out of relationships due to this fear. If they were to learn to define their own worth and stand up for themselves, the fear would disappear,cheap timberland boots.

The Inner Bonding process we teach is a process designed to create a powerful inner adult self capable of not taking rejection personally and of setting limits against loss of self. Anyone can learn this six-step process and, with practice, heal fears of intimacy. Through practicing the Inner Bonding process, you learn to value and cherish who you really are and take full responsibility for your own feelings of worth, lovability, safety, security, pain and joy. When you deeply value yourself, you do not take rejection personally and become non-reactive to rejection. When you value yourself,www.fakeuggsbootsuk.com, you will not give yourself up to try to control another’s feelings about you. When you value yourself, you are willing to lose another rather than lose yourself.

You can start to learn the powerful Inner Bonding process now by downloading our Free Inner Bonding Course. Moving beyond your fears of intimacy will open you to the deep personal and spiritual growth that relationships can provide and the profound fulfillment and joy that loving relationships can offer.