“A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a
part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and
feelings, as something separated from the rest, a kind of optical delusion of
his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us,
website, restricting us to our
personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be
to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to
embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” Albert
Einstein
A while back I somewhat reluctantly gave into a voice I had been
hearing for several months. The first time I heard the voice, I thought I had
misunderstood. I had heard, “Prison…go and do this work at the men’s prison.”
Certainly, mind was playing its game. I watched the thought, expecting it to
come and go. It was a persistent, nagging thought so I offered token acceptance
to the Universe. You pave the way and I will go. I didn’t expect heaven and
earth to move quite so quickly but as I learned, when something is intended, our
‘Yes’, even when given with half-hearted acquiescence, sets this physical plane
into motion. Just a few days later, without a shred of effort, a door opened and
the pieces began to fall into place.
As
my date at the prison approached I had just a little anxiety. What would it be
like? What would they be like? I was concerned about connecting with the men and
a thought flashed through my mind that my life hadn’t prepared me to connect
with men in prison. What did I have to say that would make any difference to
them? Even as I questioned my usefulness,
cheap timberland boots, I knew I
wouldn’t have been led here if there wasn’t a reason, so I slipped rather
effortlessly into surrender.
Blaze had told me that the men had big
hearts and an amazing openness to Oneness. They were captive, with no where to
go. I wondered if surrender to God is easier when you have already surrendered
your life’s dream. The words flowed through me. I was merely the channel―like
heaven’s radio station. The teachings encompassed both beginner and advanced
material. I had never felt it come through me in quite that way. One moment I
would be talking about basic concepts and in the next moment, quite advanced
teaching would come through. As I engaged with the men,
timberland boots, it seemed to
be perfect for that moment.
We talked about Oneness and whether they
were really a part of this Oneness. They were so honest. Yes, they had heard
about Oneness. Yes, they intellectually got it. Yes, they hoped it was true,
but, it was not a true knowing. With their permission I did a little energy work
with each man and held my hands a few inches in front of their heart chakras and
in back of the chair at heart level. After a few moments I was led to hold my
hands above their Crown chakras. To a man, albeit to varying degrees, they each
felt the energy. One in particular, a tall Irish man, asked if I had my hands on
his head. My hands were 4 inches above his head. That observation gave us lots
to talk about. If I end at my fingertips and you at the top of your head, how
can you feel this energy? Is it possible that we really are One?
Blaze
was right. They were so amazingly open. Their hearts were somewhat hidden, but
willing…wanting. They could have been any group of men. They could have been
friends, brothers, husbands, sons…sitting around the table at the holidays. Not
one would have looked out of place.
Sounds like enough of a tale...but
for me, only the beginning. As I drove home, I began to realize a new
appreciation for freedom and in the same breath, I was also given a new
appreciation for incarceration. Each thing I did for the balance of the next two
days took on a beauty of appreciation and gratitude that was exceedingly
deep―things as simple as opening the door to my car, my house, being able to
close the door to the bathroom, being surrounded by flowers in my gardens, or my
dog laying her head in my lap. As I write about this now, I feel my heart
cracking open again, even more fully, yet another level of love revealed. After
the visit I felt unable to get my balance, unable to integrate the time at the
prison, like I was standing on the groundless, untethered to earth,
timberland boots cheap. I felt
myself becoming each person who had ever been locked inside a prison...then each
soul embroiled in war or hopelessly lost in poverty. The brightness of
compassion was my saving grace. It could have been a deep hole, a desperation
created by mind, as I also felt a small daemon―separateness―clinging to me,
something that I hadn't felt for quite a while.
That evening in
meditation, in an effort to befriend it, there was awareness of the crusader
within, wanting to change the world, a part of the whole that had stepped out of
Now and into should, into past and future. It took several days to integrate all
the energy and information but slowly, with the help of friends, a context of
five levels of imprisonment took form.
As I wrote, additional levels
became clear. 1) Unaware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and physically
free. 2) Aware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and physically free. 3)
Unaware of imprisonment (mental and emotional) and incarcerated. 4)Aware of
imprisonment (mental and emotional) and incarcerated. 5) Aware of imprisonment
and consciously incarcerated, choosing to retreat to a cave or to sit under the
Bodhi tree in one's commitment to find freedom. 6) Free mentally, emotionally
(spiritual freedom) and incarcerated. 7) Free mentally, emotionally (spiritual
freedom) and physically free―not imprisoned or incarcerated.
Looking at
the list, I know where I sit. I sit under the Bodhi tree with the Buddha. I walk
beside Jesus in the desert for 40 days and 40 nights. These articles are my
incarceration, locked in step with the process of attaining freedom. I do not
sit within a physical cave, but I clearly see the cave of mind, and shall remain
dug in ‘til the last daemon is fully returned to the Whole. These words are
evidence of commitment to freedom, of dedication to making the last thoughts and
beliefs so transparent as to remove their ability to hide. In awe of the power
of forgiveness, willing to release all I have created in my ignorance against
This that pervades all, I stand naked before God with nothing but Love.
Physical freedom is merely another proving ground without spiritual
freedom. It doesn’t matter where we find ourselves when we are imprisoned, when
we see ourselves as separate from God. What does matter is what we do with our
knowledge of imprisonment. What matters is that we begin walking towards
freedom. Start walking and God’s pull will turn even the smallest steps into
winged flight.
“As long as you are pointed in the right direction, all
you have to do is keep on walking.” Buddhist Proverb